Don't let others define health and happiness for your life

"I don't like the way I look. I don't like the way I feel. I would be happier 'if only I could lose weight' or 'if only I could wear a certain size.'"

At some point in your life, you may have said these words to yourself. When we speak or even think these words, it becomes the determining factor for what is missing from our lives. And sometimes we think it is the one thing that can bring about happiness.

For so long, we have given the scale too much power. By constantly weighing ourselves and chasing a number, we allow the scale to determine our value and self-worth. It determines our mood and how we feel about ourselves and the attitude we will have toward food, exercise and other people, despite the fact that there is no evidence that guarantees that reaching a certain number on the scale means we are free from risk of disease, we will fit into that perfect size, we will look a certain way or it will even bring about happiness.

Being healthy and happy is defined differently by each one of us. Yet, all too often we allow others to define what that is for us. Whether it is social media, family, friends, experts or physicians, their influence shapes our beliefs, allowing others to determine what is best for us. But no one knows you as best as you do. Therefore, you must be in charge and begin to define what this is for yourself.

How many times have you stepped on the scale in the morning after a week of dieting and exercising to find that the scale didn't even move?

In addition to the frustration and strong desire to give up, the presumably healthier behaviors lose their credibility. Ultimately, you don't feel any better about yourself; so, you turn back to unhealthy ways because what you know is easier and more comforting.

We all are in love with the results but not with the process, which is why we are looking for that quick fix. When the desire to change is brought to the surface from our emotions of the moment rather than true commitment, there is no sustainability. As soon as the emotion is gone, the desire to change is, too.

The process of change requires hard work and sacrifices that many of us are not willing to accept. How can happiness be found among sacrifice and struggle? Sometimes we think that change should be simple, especially if we really want it. On the contrary, happiness requires struggle. In order to enjoy the reward, you must live through the struggle.

We are so quick to want the end result with minimum effort but forget that the joy is in the journey. It's never a thought of "if" it might happen but "when." And that "when" is up to you. Be willing to get outside of your comfort zone, risk your own comforts, dabble in uncertainties and experience repeated failures. Start small and stick with it!

Missy Corrigan is executive of community health for Sumter Family YMCA. She can be reached at mcorrigan@ymcasumter.org or (803) 773-1404.