Let's imagine that Roy Moore is a Democrat and not a Republican. And let's pretend he's an atheist and not a Christian - or better yet, that he's a Muslim. How many evangelical Christian voters in Alabama do you suppose would give him the benefit of the doubt regarding those salacious allegations that he fondled a 14-year old girl when he was in his early 30s?
If you said "none" you're probably right.
This isn't about whether Judge Roy Moore did what he's accused of doing, though I have my suspicions. When asked if he would flat out deny that he dated teenage girls when he was in his 30s, the judge said: "It would be out of my customary behavior."
If somebody asked you if you ever robbed a bank and you said, "It would be out of my customary behavior," that would mean just one thing: You robbed a bank.
Roy Moore was a man of questionable reputation long before the latest slime hit the fan. He was twice removed from the Alabama State Supreme Court for flouting the law. When a federal judge ordered him to remove a monument of the Ten Commandments from government property, Judge Moore refused. After the U.S. Supreme Court ruled that same-sex marriage was legal, the judge ordered county officials not to issue same-sex marriage licenses.
Roy Moore is one of those holier-than-thou characters, a man who gets his marching orders from the Bible and isn't going to let some secular federal judge tell him what to do.
But conservatives who are forever screaming about activist judges are OK with Roy Moore's activism - because he's one of them.
And that's why so many evangelical Christians in Alabama still support Roy Moore. He shares what passes for their values.
In an interview with liberal radio talk show host Bill Press in 2005, Moore was asked this question. "Do you think that homosexual-homosexuality, or homosexual conduct should be illegal today? That's a yes or no question."
"Homosexual conduct should be illegal, yes," Moore answered.
And lots of evangelicals in Alabama nodded in agreement.
But what if the allegations are true, that he had improper sexual contact with a young girl when he was a 32-year-old assistant district attorney? Well, he's not a Democrat, is he?
Here's Michael Brendan Dougherty in National Review: "People are reminded frequently that Christian conservatives once demanded that Bill Clinton resign in shame for carrying on an affair with a White House intern. Now some of those supposedly godly men, or their sons, defend Moore's predation of teenaged girls on the grounds that even a child predator is better than a Democrat."
One of those supposedly godly men is Alabama State Auditor Jim Zeigler, who said the allegations against Moore are "Much ado about very little" before hauling Jesus in as a character witness for the defense. "Take Joseph and Mary," Zeigler told the Washington Examiner. "Mary was a teenager, and Joseph was an adult carpenter. They became parents of Jesus."
Get it? Mary was a teenager - just like the girl Roy Moore is accused of undressing and fondling. And Roy Moore is the adult, just like Joseph. And that turned out OK, didn't it?
Religion makes some people better - and it makes some people foolish.
But, hey, at least Roy Moore isn't a Democrat, right?
Bernie Goldberg is an opinion writer and a news and media analyst for Fox News' O'Reilly Factor. He is a graduate of Rutgers University and a member of the school's Hall of Distinguished Alumni.