Opinion: The trauma of trying to get back to normal

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"There is no timestamp to trauma. There isn't a formula that you can insert yourself into to get from horror to healed. Be patient. Take up space. Let your journey be the balm." - Dawn Serra

As the country and our community slowly begin to open after being on shut-down for weeks as a result of the COVID-19 pandemic, it is natural that there are a variety of opinions on the topic. Some are sick of being in the house, and others are still scared to leave the house. These mixes of emotions are only natural, for like it or not, we have just experienced a traumatic event. For the first time in most of our memory, the world has been shut down.

This is a pandemic, and this pandemic is something no one has navigated, nor should pretend to be the expert on. Even the medically trained are fluctuating and adjusting their recommendations and predictions. As a result, we are all making decisions based on the information we have at that moment.

What compounds the decision-making process is the fact we are not really over the initial trauma of having to shut down, reading about the outbreaks and deaths and experiencing the deaths firsthand. The reality is trying to return to some semblance of normalcy after a traumatic event can also be traumatic.

This is expected and experienced by all of us. Remember the first time you tried to drive after having a car accident; there was probably some hesitation and anxiety. What about the first time you tried to date after a rough break-up or divorce? There was probably some butterflies or discomfort. What about returning to work after an extended sickness? It can be traumatic. There is always some trauma associated with trying to get back to normal after a traumatic event.

This reminds me of disciples of Jesus Christ a little more than a week after His resurrection and after being stuck in the house for fear of persecution of the Jews; they decide to go fishing. Fishing was something they did before but hadn't done in a while, but they now wanted to try to push past the trauma and get back to normal, yet what they found was that rushing normalcy could be reckless. I believe they demonstrate to us some lessons about what the trauma of trying to return to normal looks like.

First, we may look at familiar locations through a fractured lens. John, in his authoring of this account, calls the place the Sea of Tiberius, when all before it was called the Sea of Galilee. Even though he was familiar with the place, he would never see it the same as a result of the trauma. We will experience that as well, as we return and reopen. Churches, restaurants, parks, fitness centers, barber, beauty and nail shops are all familiar locations, but post-pandemic, we will be looking at them with a fractured lens, and that will cause us to change the way we approach them.

Second, our first attempts at familiar activities may cause frustration. John records for us that these trained fishermen fished the whole night and caught nothing. They rushed back to fish, pushed through the trauma but utterly failed at what they were fighting to get back to. The reality is we have never been in this position before, so as we are making decisions to return and reopen, we must also be aware that it may be too soon, and this attempt to reopen may cause frustration. Everyone will have an opinion about what the new normal looks like, and that may also end up frustrating us. We must remember that trauma affects everyone differently, and because their pace of healing and recovery may not be our pace, we must learn to be patient and show grace.

Third, Jesus finds us in our frustration and fixes it. John begins the story by telling us that in the midst of the darkness and in the midst of the failure of the disciples to catch fish, Jesus was there on the shore. In other words, Jesus was there the whole time, but in the darkness, they did not see Him or recognize Him. But when He saw their frustration, He called out to them and gave them a solution. We must remember that no matter how dark it is, no matter how frustrated we become and no matter how bad we fail at this first attempt to get back to normal, Jesus is standing there waiting, watching and willing to give us a solution to fix it.

The disciples discovered on that day that they could deal with their new normal, and we will soon discover that though things may be different, we too can deal with our new normal, for the real trauma of trying to get back to normal is that our normal has changed, and we are actually going back to something new.

Napoleon A. Bradford, D.Min., is the lead shepherd of The L.I.F.E. Center: A Cyber Community of CHRIST Followers.